Those shoes are not blue nor are they suede.

How am I supposed to slap a ho without an essential part of my balanced breakfast?

Nothing says sanitary like a parrot in the produce section...

"What are you wearing sexy?" -Cowboy boots. "Ya, that's hot." - Pink velour pants. "Ya I like that." - a little green baby girl hoodie. "Oh damn, that sounds sexy." - and I kinda look like Gallagher. "Oh ya...wait...what?"

Let's run through my rock star list.... Mullet? - check; big sunglasses? - check; heart shaped tattoo? - u know I love my mom; Cut jean shorts? - are there any other type of shorts?; wife beater tied at the midriff - check;..... He is an official ROCK STAR!

I think I just sharted...

WTF???

Is that Rainbow Brite all grown up??

Is that a soccer ball? A map of the solar system? The structure of a sub-atomic particle?

I have absolutely no idea what to say...

Is that a gangster leotard?

Everyone loves the man in the yellow go-go boots!

Nice purse!

Do you see the flame shoes buddy? That means I will not think twice about karate chopping you into the middle of next week!

AHH! I love the frozen food section... it tingles!

Umm... excuse me, sir...

At least the purse matches, right?

Rawr...

No, honey, it's an ancient Egyptian symbol of prosperity, I swear!

I was wondering why you suddenly smelled better.

Every man has an NFL jersey AND pink short-shorts in their wardrobe, right?

I have the same outfit, only in red.

Just in case you had the urge...

Now all we need is Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem for a reunion tour.

Yes, you are seeing that correctly. Old man + large, supple breast implants.