|
 |
Real Places
Real Places You Might Consider (Not) Visiting On Your Next Vacation
Gay Head, Massachusetts
Dicks Head, Kenya
Intercourse, Pennsylvania
Dildo, Newfoundland
Mount Dick, Adams Island New Zealand
Gays, Illinois
Fort Gay, Wyoming
Screw River, New Guinea
Cumming, Georgia
Dykesville, Louisiana
Sappho's Leap, Levkas Greece
Dykes Crossroads, Tennessee
Oral, South Dakota
Big Hole, Montana
Blue Balls, Pennsylvania
|
 |
|
Presidential Advice
One night George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing beside him. Bush looks up and asks, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, then fades away.
The next night, Bush is astir again when he sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving silently around the bedroom. Bush calls out: "Tom, please, what's the best thing I could do to help the country?"
"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and then dims from sight.
The third night sleep still evades Bush. He sees the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush lowers his voice and asks, Franklin, what's the best thing I could do to help the country?"
In that golden voice of his, FDR replies, "Help the less fortunate, just as I did," and then he disappears.
Bush still isn't sleeping well the fourth night. He tosses and turns, and suddenly another figure moves out of the shadows. It's the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. "Abe," Bush pleads, "what's the best thing I can do right now to help the country?"
Lincoln pauses, then replies, "Go see a play."
Submitted by
Cindy C.
|
|
|
Work Virus
Virus Alert!
There is a new virus going around, called "work." If you receive any sort of "work" at all, whether via e-mail, Internet or simply handed to you by a colleague...
DO NOT OPEN IT
This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open "work" or even look at "work" have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly.
If you do encounter "work" via e-mail or are faced with any "work" at all, then to purge the virus, send an e-mail to your boss with the words "I've had enough of your crap...
I'm off to the pub."
The "work" should automatically be forgotten by your brain. If you receive "work" in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag the "work" to your garbage can. Put on your hat and coat and skip to the nearest bar with two friends and order three pints of beer (or rum punch).
After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that "work" will no longer be of any relevance to you and that "Huckleberry Hound" was the greatest cartoon ever.
Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do NOT have anyone in your address book, then I'm afraid the "work" virus has already corrupted your life.
|
|
|
Please engage brain before speaking:
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
|
|
|
|
