Humor
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Choosing a wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the m an. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

Submitted by: Cindy C.

 

 

I'm Just Too Tired

Jim wasn't too happy with his doctor's recommendation to cure his constant fatigue.

"You want me to give up sex completely, Doc?" he cried. "I'm a young guy. I'm in the prime of my life. How do you expect me to give up sex and go cold turkey?"

"Well," replied the doctor, "you could get married and taper off gradually."

 

Texan Favorite Things

A cowboy is driving down a back road in Texas ... sign in front of a restaurant reads:

Happy Hour Special...

Lobster Tail and Beer

"Lord almighty" he says to himself, "my three favorite things!!"

Submitted by: James O.

 

 

Sayings of the Wise & Learned:

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.