One day a newfie walked down the beach, wearing his bathing trunks and he lay down on his towel. He watched the girls go over to the lifeguard all day, and at the end of the day he goes over to the lifeguard and says "all day the girls walked by me and came over to see you. What am I doing wrong?
The lifeguard explains that the first thing he has to do is get a little speedo bathing suit and then drop a potato down.
The next day the newfie walks down the beach wearing a little red bathing suit, and he's dropped the potato in. He lays down on the beach and the same thing happens. At the end of the day he goes back over to the lifeguard to find out why all the girls still ignored him even after he had done what he was told.
The lifeguard explained "I think you should have put the potato in the front!"