Two Brooms
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after awhile they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom and the other the groom broom.The bri...
Read more →Jokes
Airport Ticket Agent Terminology
This was given to me by an Continetal airline gate attendant at Newark International Airport. We had been standing around chatting for a couple of hours while a plane was flown in to take me on a MUCH...
Read more →Y2K clearance Sale
FOR SALE:200 canned hams100lbs. dried beans2000 gal. fresh water (including underground tank)5000 watt propane generator75 MRE'S800 assorted canned vegetables8 cases sterno (24 per case)18 boxes match...
Read more →Magic Mirror
Three beautiful women walk into a night club. One redhead, one brunette, and one blonde. The bar tender suggests that a Magic Mirror in the ladies room might just make them rich. "Look in the mirror, ...
Read more →Multiple personalities
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,is it considered a hostage situation?
In My Hand
Eighty year old Bessie bursts into the rec room of the men's retirement home.She holds her clenched fist in the air and saucily announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me ...
Read more →Piccolo
A man is walking around the streets of New York one day when he spies an old friend of his from college."Boris!" he yells. "I haven't seen you in ages! How have you been?""Well," Boris replies. "I am ...
Read more →Famous Sea Captain
Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did; for years he guided merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best o...
Read more →Playing poker with tarot cards
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.I got a full house and four people died.
Anecdotes On Old Institutions
I agree that The Bay is a very special company for Canada for its long and "colourful" history, but I *think* it's a youngster in comparison to certain European companies (although I couldn't name one...
Read more →My Mother Taught Me 2
My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."My Mother taught me MEDICINE..."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to f...
Read more →Politically Correct Re-definition:
It's not called gossip anymore.It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."
Boating
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield, a blonde, new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand...
Read more →Origins of Man's Sex Life
It seems that when the Lord was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. Man was horrified. "Only twenty years of normal sex life?" but the Lord was ...
Read more →Male & Female Interpretations
THINGY (thing-ee) n.female: Any part under a car's hood.male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.male: Playin...
Read more →Tie Pun
Guy tries to enter a night club, but the bouncer tells him, "Sorry, you need a tie."So he goes out to his car, but the only thing he can find is a pair of jumper cables, which he ties around his neck....
Read more →Disoriented
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Pick-up line of the day
He said....Have I shown you my magic watch ?She said......No, what does it do ?He said.....It's telling me you are not wearing any underwearShe said....Well your watch is wrong because I am wearing un...
Read more →Tarzan
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex."What's that" he asked. She explained to him what sex ...
Read more →There are 300 billion stars
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you.Tell him a seat has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.