The Problem With Modern Art
The junior sales manager complained to his wife of aches and pains. Neither could account for his trouble.Arriving home one night from work, he informed her, "I finally discovered why I've been feelin...
Read more →Male vs Female
Excerpts from "The Rants", by Dennis MillerI know the myth is that men want Traci Lords in the bedroom, Julia Child in the kitchen, Hazel around the house, Lesley Visser during a game, Mary Poppins fo...
Read more →Talking Duck
A talking duck waddles into a store and asks the sales guy, "Got any grapes?""No," answered the guy.The duck waddles out. A little later it returns and asks, "Got any grapes?"The clerk replies, "No! L...
Read more →Texas Rancher
A Texas Panhandle rancher and his wife were bickering while on holiday in France. They were still hardly speaking to each other after being seated in a fancy French restaurant for dinner.When the wait...
Read more →Can Of Spinach
As an experiment, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are placed in separate rooms and left with a can of spinach, but no can opener. A day later, the rooms are opened, one-by-one.In the fir...
Read more →New Stamp
The U.S. Postal Service created a stamp earlier this year with a picture of President Bush to honor his achievements while in office.However, it was found that in daily use the stamps were not stickin...
Read more →New Scam
WARNING:This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men.What happens is that when you stop for a red-light a young, nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield.While she is doing ...
Read more →Pigeon with a Woodpecker
What do you get if you cross a Pigeon with a Woodpecker?A bird which knocks before delivering a message.
Frame Job
A few friends had gathered in Bob's basement rec room for an evening of drinks and dancing. With the party in full swing, one of the girls excused herself to go to the john. This room, it seems, had b...
Read more →Injun Trouble
Back in the old Wild West, (probably someplace around Tombstone) there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave, who were a few apples shy of a bushel.One day, the two were enjoying a strong sarsaparill...
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Grade School Contest
There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian boy, a Spanish boy and a redneck. They were trying to think of games to play at recess when the Asian boy got an idea. "I know," he said, "we can pla...
Read more →Where Did I Come From
"Daddy, where did I come from?" the seven-year-old asked. It was a moment for which her parents had carefully prepared. They took her into the living room, got out the encyclopedia and several other b...
Read more →Atheist and The Bear
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.As he was ...
Read more →Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers
Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
Never Seen A Mirror
After living in a remote wilderness all his life, an old codger decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remark...
Read more →At My Funeral
A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone sai...
Read more →In The Beginning...
In The Beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, And darkness was upon the face of the deep.And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."A...
Read more →Eating Right
So anyway, a guy goes into the doctor’s office. There is a banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot stuck in one nostril, and a cucumber in the other ear. The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. W...
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