Peace On Earth
Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we are Jewish," she asks, "Will God...
Read more →Grandma's Panties
Grandma went into Victoria's Secret and wanted to buy some fancy new panties. The sales lady talked her into buying some real nice bright red crotchless panties.Grandma put them on and waited for gran...
Read more →Adult Sex Quiz
Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?A.) Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a Blowjob.Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?A.) So men c...
Read more →Hot Chili
Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?
Little Liar Johnnie (Dog)
One evening as a family was eating dinner, the mother knowing that her young son Johnnie had been telling lot's of lies as of late, announced that she had made arrangements for her son to go over to t...
Read more →Good night
A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he heard some voices from inside. He slammed open the door, and shouted: Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good night...
Read more →Couple Of Owls
Sally was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she returned. Her friend, Liz, had never seen Sally looking so sad.Liz said, "Hear...
Read more →115 Year Old Man
An old man turned 115 and was being interviewed by a reporter for the local paper. During the interview the reporter noticed that the yard was full of children of all ages playing together. A very pre...
Read more →Mildred & Chester
Mildred and Chester knew each other from childhood but were in their nineties when they got married. They had to wait for Mildred's mother to pass away first. Back in those days there was no hanky pan...
Read more →Little Girl
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.She stands next to the barber chair while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.The barber smiles at her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get h...
Read more →Condom Sizes
A man walked into the drug store and shyly asked the pretty girl behind the counter if he could buy some condoms. Seeing his discomfort, the girl decided to have some fun. She asked what size he neede...
Read more →Light year
How many weeks are there in a light year?
Two Brooms
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after awhile they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom and the other the groom broom.The bri...
Read more →Airport Ticket Agent Terminology
This was given to me by an Continetal airline gate attendant at Newark International Airport. We had been standing around chatting for a couple of hours while a plane was flown in to take me on a MUCH...
Read more →Y2K clearance Sale
FOR SALE:200 canned hams100lbs. dried beans2000 gal. fresh water (including underground tank)5000 watt propane generator75 MRE'S800 assorted canned vegetables8 cases sterno (24 per case)18 boxes match...
Read more →Magic Mirror
Three beautiful women walk into a night club. One redhead, one brunette, and one blonde. The bar tender suggests that a Magic Mirror in the ladies room might just make them rich. "Look in the mirror, ...
Read more →Multiple personalities
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,is it considered a hostage situation?
In My Hand
Eighty year old Bessie bursts into the rec room of the men's retirement home.She holds her clenched fist in the air and saucily announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me ...
Read more →Piccolo
A man is walking around the streets of New York one day when he spies an old friend of his from college."Boris!" he yells. "I haven't seen you in ages! How have you been?""Well," Boris replies. "I am ...
Read more →Famous Sea Captain
Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did; for years he guided merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best o...
Read more →