Dear Abby 01
DEAR ABBY: Will you please rush me the name of a reliable illegitimate doctor?
Hillary
Bush, Clinton and Hillary were all in a car accident together. When they arrived at the gates of heaven god was there to meet them.He said to Bush who are you and Bush said I am a former President of ...
Read more →Zipper
A woman was trying to board a bus, but her skirt was too tight and she couldn't step up. She reached behind her and lowered the zipper a bit and tried again.The Skirt was still too tight. She reached ...
Read more →Nobody appreciates
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
Fishing for Surfers
Two men are fishing at a lake that is also used by windsurfers. Of course the surfers disturb the fish, and this annoys the fishermen.After some time, when another surfer passes them, one of the fishe...
Read more →Chinese couple
There is this just married Chinese couple decided to make love on the wedding night in the hotel where they held their wedding.The wife did not want to get pregnant and requested the husband to buy a ...
Read more →Pet Frog
A woman went into a pet shop to buy her boyfriend a pet, but after looking around she realized all the pets were very expensive.A clerk came up and asked if there was something he could help her with....
Read more →Jose and Carlos
Every day, Jose and Carlos stand at the freeway exit ramp, panhandling. Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and still has plenty of cash to spend. Carlos only brings in a few dolla...
Read more →Note from bin Laden
After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a note in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.Kennedy opened the no...
Read more →Better Than Biscuits
A visiting Preacher was attending a men’s breakfast in Ohio Farm Country. He asked one of the impressive older farmers in attendance to say grace that morning. After all were seated, the older farmer ...
Read more →Please engage brain before speaking:
"Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued... Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976."-- Letter from the Illinois Department of P...
Read more →Boxing Tattoo
A lady walked into a tattoo parlor, and is wanting a tattoo of Mike Tyson on one thigh and Riddick Bowe and the other thigh. In order to draw the tattoos, she had to drop her drawers.After the tattooi...
Read more →IUDs
Did you hear about the dyslexic Highway Patrolman that spent all night New Year's Eve handing out I.U.D.s?
From the Mouths Of Babes2
1. NUDITYI was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I hear...
Read more →I like the way you're Thinking
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question."Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many wou...
Read more →Italian
Ima talka to my frien' Luigi and I say "Hey Luigi, you like-a women with long-a greasy black hair".Luigi say, "NO WAY!"I say "Well, you like-a women be big and-a fat and-a eatsa spagetti alla time?Lui...
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