Mountain Contraceptive
Every spring, as soon as the snows thawed, a certain mountain woman would come down into town, have a baby and gather supplies for the summer. After a few years of this, she looked despairingly at the...
Read more →But are the frogs OK?
True story taken from Texas Fish and Game July 2002 issueTwo Arkansas men, Thurston Pool and Billy Ray Walis, age 33 and 38 respectively, had a mishap on the way home from a night of frog-giggin. Pool...
Read more →talking to your plants
Instead of talking to your plants,if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Headstone
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been."Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before...
Read more →Italian Border
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Customs agent stops them:"It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro.""Vot do you mean it'z illegal?" asks the German drive...
Read more →Getting Older
Now that I'm older, here is what I've discovered:I started out with nothing,: I still have most of it.My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran.I finally got my head together, now my body is fal...
Read more →Oral Sex
After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St. Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his findings."Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?" G...
Read more →The Workaholic
A workaholic finally decided to take a long overdue vacation. He booked a Caribbean cruise and was having the time of his life... until the boat sank! He found himself swept onto a desert island. Six ...
Read more →Number of the Beast
OK, we all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast.But did you know that:$665.95 - Retail price of the Beast$699.25 - Price of the Beast plus 5% sales tax$769.95 - Price of the Beast with all accesso...
Read more →Bonus and a boner
Q. What is the difference between a bonus and a boner?A. Your significant other won't mind blowing your bonus...
Mother Teresa
Mother Teresa went to Heaven and she was walking around - checking the place out. She walked up to St Peter and said "Where would I go to make a complaint?"St Peter told her to go see Gabriel.She goes...
Read more →Penis Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:* I do physical labour* I work at great depths* I am always using my head first* I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public hol...
Read more →Colored Condoms
A young buck went into a large store for a packet of condoms. "Have you tried the rainbow ones?" asked the assistant, "We've got Red ones, Blue ones, Green ones, Orange ones, Yellow ones, plus a few o...
Read more →Officer Efficiency Report
This is an actual line out of OER (Officer Efficiency Report) performance appraisal for the military:- A room temperature IQ.
Liquid Viagra
Viagra is now available in liquid form. Pfizer Drug officials today announced the release of the wonder drug, Viagra, in a new, easy-to-take liquid form. It is sold under the generic name "Mydixadud."...
Read more →Mother's Day
A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong."Nothing," said the woman.Not buying it, he asked again. "Seriously...
Read more →GWB quotes
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."...George W. Bush"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."...Governor George W. Bush"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my...
Read more →Be Polite
There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam. It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, and young George was pretty excited."Sam, Sam, can I go down t...
Read more →Bumper Sticker:
On an electrician's truck,"Let us remove your shorts."
Taters
Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are content to watch others do. They are called "Speck Taters."Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way ...
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